Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One

One year ago today, the world lost an incredible talent, a wonderful human being, a caring father, a doting husband, and an outstanding grandfather.

I made it two hours into today before losing it. I remember this day last year like it was yesterday. Mom called me early in the morning to say she was on her way down to Georgia; Grandpa wasn't doing well. When my dad called me a couple of hours later, I knew what he was going to say before he said a word. I sobbed and sobbed - my younger brother drove an hour from his school to me. When he got there, we didn't say much - maybe a couple of words. When my brother and I finally got to Georgia, everyone erupted into tears.

Because I'm no longer in school, and because I'm not permanently employed, I have a lot of spare time. So when something causes me to think of my grandpa, instead of "pushing it to the back of my mind" like I would have to at work, I dwell on it. Because of this, I'm dealing with his passing worse than some of my family members. This post should really be called "NOT dealing with the loss of a loved one."

Grandpa was a devout Christian, and I couldn't help but question God. Why would he take away such an...extraordinary individual? It's not fair - we weren't ready for that. I'm listening to some of Grandpa's songs now, and I know he's singing with the angels, and making them all jealous of his talent!

I know Grandpa's up there - singing with the angels, giving Ginger (his Yorkie) candy corn, and growing orchids. But still, a year later, I wish he could be doing those things here on earth. I miss him every day.

Side note: I start therapy tomorrow. I hope to get off of my anxiety/insomnia meds, and learn how to cope with loss.